: incoherent ranting follows. Expect no conclusions or development of thought; I am genuinely worked-up and this is a live rant. I apologise, but this post might be considered top-shelf by some
The BBC Kid's show "Dick and Dom in da Bungalow" - which is the only show that I forbid my daughter to watch for no other reason than the fact that it's shit - has had it's wrists slapped by the Powers That Be.
Dominic Wood wore a top emblazoned with "Morning Wood" in capital letters whilst presenting the early Saturday morning show in March. For those more pure than I, Morning Wood is a reference to men waking up with an erection, possibly - but not necessarilly - then proceeding to do something about said erection.
The show - which really is very painful to watch - is apparently aimed at kids aged between 8 and 12 and often has them taking part in some way.
Dom, aged 26, claims that he wore the shirt because his name is Wood and the show is broadcast in the morning. PLEASE! I can believe that he thought that made it a clever double entendres, but that really is a poor excuse. Media watchdog Ofcom saw through it and said it was clear the phrase had a sexual meaning. Wood ["huh-huh, he said wood; huh-huh"] and co-presenter Richard McCourt, 28, were called into a meeting with a programme executive following a complaint from a viewer. As a result, the clothing worn by the presenters is vetted before each show.
The BBC told Ofcom that the innuendo was aimed well outside the show's core viewers. Isn't that weird? At one point the innuendo doesn't even exist and it is an honest and innocent mistake, at another it is aimed outside the show's core viewers.
Children's entertainment in the UK is getting increasingly comfortable at aiming outside of their core viewers. On the ITV version of Dick and Dom a few months back, there was a reference to a young man giving his girlfriend an item of jewellry and she said that she rather he gave her a "pearl necklace." The man turned to the camera and raised one eyebrow. [It's a reference to oral sex and - how can I put this tastefully - its outcome. I think the Japanese call it Bukake.] The show that preceeded Dick and Dom for quite some time (I think it was "Live and Kicking") had a weekly spot that involved a sexual innuendo that turned out to be innocent. For example, the young man and his female side-kick would be facing with their backs to the viewers and she would be saying, "It's just so big; I can't believe it's got so big." He would then reply, "That's because I spend so long polishing it" and would turn around to reveal a marrow.
As a father of 2 girls, this disgusts me. But it doesn't surprise me.
Is making inapproriate sexual references a game to be played, like 2 kids in front of their parents nervously giggling in case they get caught?
But it's not our parents who might over-hear!
Dick, get your kicks elsewhere!
I can remember when the Spice Girls presented Top of the Pops and joked about giving each other toys for Christmas that required batteries. I'm sure it made them giggle and feel a little naughty and it probably went over the heads of most of those who would do well not to hear it, but why take the risk?
Of course, the major irony is that straight after Dick and Dom there is Top of The Pops Saturday. Then our children will be bombarded with images of cool women (and some men) who always and without fail wear revealing clothing and act. Whether it's Beyonce shaking her booty - admittedly, very impressively - or Rachel Stevens cupping her breasts and only just avoiding moving her hand between her legs, I am - and I really am very sorry, but this is the only way to put it - FUCKING SICK & TIRED OF IT! These are our kids. It is we who need to grow up, not them.
Some would say I was being puritanical, but the same people want to publicise the list of paedophiles who move into our streets. The same people can't see a problem with Britney suggestively dressing up as a school-girl or women dressing in such a way to be alluring, but somehow want to blame Tony Blair for teenage pregnanices. There's a major double-standard taking place. If it gives knowing parents a giggle, it's fine. But if the shaping of our children into sexual objects actually leads to that which is implied, we won't stop until we find someone to find and punish.
My daughter's favourite game is to play "Teenagers."
I think we need to join the Amish!